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Featured on SistersTalk Radio
Nov
20
When Did You Know You Were a Lesbian?
Filed Under Coming Out
Genia: I knew when I was 2! Just kidding. I think I was probably 10 years old when I first realized I liked girls and that most of the other girls liked boys. My mom gave me a set of “Your Body, Your Self” books (something like that, remember those?) when I started my period. In one of those books, there was a section on homosexuality. The book said it was a phase that most adolescents go through and that I would grow out of it. At age 19, I came out as bisexual. At age 23, I realized I was really a homosexual. So much for that phase!
Andrea: It was fall of 1998 and I was in college. One of my best friends had her friend from high school visit. I met her two times. The first time I developed a huge crush on her, the second time she came back I acted on my feelings for her. After she left I realized my feelings were not exclusively for her and that I was attracted to women. Looking back now though, there are things long before that one experience that cued me that I was a lesbian.
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7 Responses to “When Did You Know You Were a Lesbian?”
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I knew when I was 4. I didn’t know what a lesbian was, I just knew girls were for me. It wasn’t until later, about 6th grade I had a name for it.
When I said outloud, “I don’t want to be gay.”
Its funny I just had this conversation with a co worker about an hour ago. I was 10 when the live in babysiter/house keeper moved in and all I thought about was her butt and how nice it looked and how I wanted to touch it. It just all fell into place after that. I took a girl to the D.A.R.E. Dance at school when I was 11. We were each others first little girlfriends. whew, memories,lol.
For me, the ‘defining moment’ was when I was looking at a friend’s collection of semi-naked hardbodied football players and realised that I didn’t find them all that attractive; I wanted to see the cheerleaders instead!
OutOutOut:
I WAS a cheerleader! I joined the squad because I had a huge crush on the cheerleading coach. She was my 10th grade English teacher. I had absolutely no interest in being a cheerleader until she announced in class that she was the coach. I was the first girl at tryouts!
Wow. Well I can see clues now all the way back to when I was 5, I was the biggest tomboy there was and I preferred my brother’s GI Joes to my Barbie dolls. But when the light really started to go off was in 7th grade. A boy who was my very best friend – we did everything together – searched for pollywogs, took our bicycles to the jumps, played with firecrackers, etc. At one point he wanted to take our relationship to the next level – he put his hand down my shirt at a friend’s house and I was appalled. He quickly shifted his interests to another girl at school and quit hanging out with me. I went into reverse psychology mode – and began chasing after the same girl. I literally was challenging him, and I won her affections. She became my best friend and she wanted nothing to do with him. Then, not long after that, she said that in order for us to stay together forever, we’d have to go to Denmark so one of us could have a sex change. I used to be puzzled by this, especially coming from her, but knew without a doubt if it ever happened, I’d have to be the one who became male, because she was too frilly.
I have absolutely no plans to be an FTM, but the mindset of me being the “masculine” one of the two was definitely in my brain at the time. She made this comment throughout the rest of our school years and wrote it on the back of pictures and in yearbooks. Now she has refused to speak to me for 22 years since finding out that I am gay.
I spent my life in an all girls catholic school so my attraction was early on….but to know for sure I was in about 10th grade when all the girls were looking for dates for a Soph Hop I could not seem to get into the action…the more I stared at the boys the more I knew I liked the girls….I acted on it when I was 15 with a women of 20 feel in love had my heart broke all in 2 weeks LOL….but I knew then Where I needed to be and so happy now at 45 that I have the most loving partner of 16 years and still very much in love!